Starting off on a very happy note, I'm so happy to say that Jordan is the most stable he has been in years. His anger and rage are under control. I can't remember the last time he punched a wall or himself. He is happy, he is smiling, and he is enjoying life. The tics from Tourette's syndrome are barely noticeable, compared to six months ago when they were so strong that he would lose his balance or fall over. There were days that I thought he would hyperventilate or faint, his breathing tics were so bad. Our cat, Yogi, still drives him nuts, but what can I say. Cats can be jerks. I still love them.
Brett. Happy, cheery, smiling, friendly, loving, kind hearted. These are usually the kind of stories I tell you about him. Unfortunately, I only have one of those to share with you from this school year. He auditioned for a solo in the school's Broadway Dinner show, singing "Friend Like Me" from Aladdin. I am not positive of the numbers, but I believe nearly 75 students auditioned for solos, and they could only take 30-35. My baby (yes, he's 17) got his part. It was an extremely proud time for our family. It was so amazing, that we had family from California come in for the weekend just to see the show. My brother and his girlfriend came, my in laws came, and some friends came, including J, who is like part of our family anyway. There was not a dry eye at our table after his performance. I am so thankful to the show director and his wife for taking the chance on Brett, supporting him, and challenging him to do his best.
During rehearsal week, Brett got up the nerve to ask a girl to prom. A regular Ed girl. And she said yes, and was so excited to go with him. Until two days later when she got a better offer and dropped Brett like a bad habit. What made it even more painful is, the person she dumped him for- yeah, it was Brett's idol. In this situation, not one single person took Brett's feelings into consideration. They must've just figured it would be okay because, well, Brett is the way Brett is. People with autism don't have feelings. Bullshit. He might not show them, but when he explained that it felt like he was having a heart attack when we had to tell him he wasn't going to prom anymore, yeah. They actually broke his heart. I'm not sure if anyone apologized to him, but I know that no one gave us an apology. We had to sooth his pain for weeks, until the most amazing girl stepped in and said that she would be honored to be Brett's date. So, M...you have no idea what that meant to us. We love you very much. You made him a very happy young man, and may have changed his life. You certainly helped his self esteem and I know he had a great time.
Brett has been dealing with some bullying again this year. Not as severe as the last time, (at least not that I'm aware of), but it isn't just by a peer. This student picks on him all the time, says insulting things, and things that are very hurtful. The extremely disturbing part about this situation is that he's being mistreated by a staff member in the support classroom. It's bad enough that he wants nothing to do with the support class. He doesn't want to go on the field trips with them, and doesn't want to do the fun after school activities. He has chosen to isolate himself from them. I don't blame him. It was so bad, that we changed his schedule so he wouldn't be in the class. He would be included in Regular Ed classes all day. Despite our reports of bullying by the student and staff, I am not aware that anything has been done to remedy the situation.
Brett participated in the schools Special Olympics Unified track team again this year. It's a team where special needs students and regular Ed students are on the same team and compete together and against each other. It is just amazing to see the team camaraderie. This year, the team was chosen to go to the state track meet again. Not the Special Olympics meet. The actual PIAA Pennsylvania state track meet. Last year, they chose who was going by participation; who went to every practice, went to every meet. This year, I got a phone call from the coach. He wanted to tell me before I found out from anyone else that Brett would not be going. Apparently, he did not contribute enough points to the team. He also said that Brett didn't want to go to states. I reminded him that Brett has a very severe anxiety disorder and I can't even get him to leave the house, so of course he's going to tell the coach "no". The coach agreed with me, and said that he realized that Brett always says no. We had to break the bad news to him again. He was heart broken. The coach told him the next day that he wasn't going because they were taking the other kids instead. What the actual fuck? Brett still doesn't understand, and its been two weeks. He still asks, "why can't I go to states?" and I don't have an answer for him. He doesn't want to participate in life anymore. All he wants to do is stay home. He won't leave the house. He puts on his happy, cheerful face at school, so I'm sure that people think he's fine. Well, he's not. Not even close. He is a hot mess. He knows that he basically got cut from a Special Olympics team. He may have Autism, but really people. He's not stupid. He gets it. A hell of a lot more than anyone at that school gives him credit for. He's back in therapy now. Some of the emotions he chose to describe this situation are: confused, frustrated, sad, embarrassed, and lonely. So, you want to tell me he doesn't have feelings? No frigging way. He just chooses to hide them.
This has been one of the worst school years that he has had in this district. Between being bullied by three different people, getting his heart broken about prom, and getting left out of a sports team that he participated in (not missing a single practice or meet- and winning his heats), he is a volcano that I am just waiting to erupt. His stress, anxiety, and depression is literally out of control. We don't know what to do for him. He is miserable at home. Our walls are back up. He's not letting you in. And I will stand behind him, supporting him every step of the way. I want to take a minute to thank all of those people who have expressed their concern for him during this very hurtful time that he is going through. It does mean a lot. We are doing our best to help him get through everything, but anyone who knows Brett knows this: Brett doesn't forget anything. Ever. And you know what? Neither do I.
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