When will it end?

I have been burning the candle at both ends for some time now, I'm not sure how much candle is actually left. I try to keep a positive attitude, but at this stage, it's nearly impossible.

Jordan is in a phase that nothing makes him happy. In fact, he is miserable. I had to physically restrain him on Saturday night, and I think I jacked up my shoulder. Doc worked on it yesterday, and it felt much better. Until we left. Between the hours of 4pm and 8pm I had to restrain him 6 times. my shoulder is killing me, my head is throbbing from all the head butts, and my attitude just plain sucks. I had to physically drag him, kicking, screaming, and swinging, out of Barnes and Noble yesterday. I'm pretty sure we'll never be welcomed back. Some days, I wonder if I am going to get through the day. I look at the clock and see that there are still two hours until the kids bedtime. I am so tired of every day being the same shit. Time for myself doesn't exist in my world. By the time the weekend arrives, all I do is sleep. That's all I have the mental capacity to accomplish. I don't know which is worse, the mental, physical, or emotional exhaustion.  Because I have them all.  I never thought these words would escape my mouth, but the only thing getting me through this is my workouts. The friends I have made, the team comradery, the great attitudes of the group, the support that Jordan and I get, and the awesome team motivators. I am so glad to be part of this team. We don't have much of a support team, but I am very thankful for you all. For a few hours a week, I don't have to think about life as I know it. You challenge us, cheer for us, and you always make me laugh (Frank!).

I'm not asking for sympathy, or for anyone to feel sorry for me. This is the life I was given, and this is the life I have to live. I'm just so full of frustration, that if I didn't vent, my brain would likely explode. And I need to release all the negativity within the next couple of days, because I'm leaving for vacation on Friday. I'm going to Maui, bitches! I'm going with my sister and sister in law. Though the trip won't be complete without the fourth gal pal, we will be thinking of you. And I'm so glad I get to spend an evening with you. I miss you all more than I can say, and think about you every day.

Now, if I can get through the next 4 days, and get everything done that I need to do...maybe I'll come back refreshed, and ready for my life again.

"The only thing I know is this: I am full of wounds and still standing on my feet".
~Nikos Kazantzakis