Brett and Jordan see their own psychiatrists every month, and I check in by phone with Jordan's on a weekly basis. But today was my turn to get my head shrunk. I believe my Doc calls it a med check, but let's be real...he's totally checking my sanity. I only see him biannually, but most visits feel like a waste of time. My sessions go a little bit like this:
Doc: How's your concentration been?
Me: Uh, I've been seeing you in this office for 6 years and today I drove past the building. It took me a mile to realize it.
Doc: How's your anxiety?
Me: I'm wearing Jordan's shoes because mine felt too confining and caused a panic attack.
Doc: How's your mood been?
Me: I hate everything.
Doc: Do you ever feel like hurting yourself?
Me: Does wanting to bang my head against a wall count?
That about sums things up. Considering my stress level, even the doctor can't determine whether my new problems are situational or a result of my malfunctioning brain. It's like I fell out of the crazy tree and hit every damn branch on the way down. And then because I can make irrational decisions, I climbed back up and did it again.
Today was my check in day for Jordan. I mentioned that we STILL haven't seen any improvement in his aggression and he developed 2 new vocal tics over the weekend. Yes, despite the weekly increase in dosage, his tics are increasing. She said, "I doubt the med is causing him to develop the tics.". Ok, but its certainly not controlling them yet. So she increased him to 500 mg this week and 600 mg next week. She did, however write the prescription to document the increases with the hopes that our insurance company will fill it. I guess we'll find out tomorrow when we go to our NEW PHARMACY!!!
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