I'm back

Brett had his first appointment with his new psychiatrist this morning. Let's call him Dr A...for awesome! He spent over an hour with us, asking questions that our past doctor never asked. He paid attention to Brett, he asked him questions directly, he was patient and kind. He must have spent 20 minutes talking to Brett about his favorite shows, and Brett was thoroughly impressed that Dr A knew what he was talking about. He agreed with me that his medication dosage was entirely too low for the extreme level of anxiety Brett is dealing with, and made a significant adjustment. He wants to see Brett again in 4 weeks, and we'll re-evaluate then. I raved so much about him to my husband, He asked me if I had to hots for him...I honestly can't say enough good things about today's appointment. I am so thankful my cousin recommended him. It got a little awkward when he asked why we left our last doctor. So I explained briefly was happened and he was shocked. He's definitely a keeper.

Jordan continues to amaze me with how much he's gaining from his speech therapy. He's like  a sponge, just sucking up information and knowledge. He just needed a little squeeze to let it out. And our therapist was the one who helped us get there. We will forever be thankful. But here's the kicker...we're losing her. She has a special needs child of her own and needs a position where she has her summers off (been there, done that!). It looks like we'll have her through this month, and then...
speech therapists for non-verbal adults who know about speech devices are about as rare as a 6 legged unicorn. At least in Erie...

His behaviors aren't improving. Not in the slightest. I've started thinking of the hours between 3-5 pm as the witching hours. That is when Brett comes home from school and just spews out everything that he's held in during the school day. It literally makes Jordan twitch and shake with anger. I would give anything to know what happened to turn Jordan against Brett...absolutely anything. And I would do absolutely anything to fix it. I will fix it. I will...

Having a child with a disability is extremely straining on a person, on people, on families and on marriages. Having two just doubles it. I am unbelievably happy that my husband and I have managed it together. We've certainly had our ups and downs. I won't lie. I spent a lot of time resenting him, because he got out of the house every day and got to deal with adults. He got to be a grown up, and be with other grown ups. While I spend all my time with the boys, dealing with tantrums, melt downs, chauffeuring them to doctors appointments and therapies, and feeling completely unappreciated. It finally hit me, how selfish I was being. My husband has a very stressful job, but it allows me to be home with the boys, and do my job. I've learned to be appreciative of him, and all that he does for me and the boys. We couldn't do it without him.

We've spent a lot of time working on our marriage lately. Realizing that we speak different love languages, I'm making the efforts to speak his language. This past weekend, it was like we fell in love all over again. We were laughing, and actually talking about stuff, other than the kids. It has been so long, too long, since we've felt this way. Hopefully, we can continue making the extra effort, working on us, working on our relationship, working on the boys...together.

Despite how stressful our lives are,  how miserable things may be, how angry we all are, how frustrated we might feel, how much I might just want to quit...today I can honestly say...Life is good. And I'm glad to be me...