What a week...

If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there...Lewis Carroll

That's how I've been feeling lately. It seems that I know what the end result should be, needs to be, what I want it to be. I just can't figure out how to get there. And I think I've gotten lost a few times along the way.  I'm finding it nearly impossible to focus on Brett and his anxiety, Jordan and his anger/tantrums/speech, and maintaining a good marriage.  And look at that, I've left myself out again.  Every day, I wake up exhausted and irritable, and have to put on a brave face. Because that's what I do, and I'm okay with that...sometimes.  It takes everything I have to get through the day without screaming, yelling, losing my patience, or crying. Most days I fail, I am human.  I will continue to pick myself up, dust myself off, and do it all again tomorrow.

Last week, Jordan wowwed us all at speech by getting 100% correct on his drills!! We are working on object/function, trying to differentiate between 'what is it?'and 'what is it used for?' He flies through the pages of his speech device with increasing speed, and every day he amazes me more and more. I am so proud to be his mother. His anger has not improved, and the tantrums continue, but I have faith in him. I know he will get there. As Brett says 'we don't give up, do we?'

With me focusing so much time and energy on Jordan, Brett is really missing out on his Momma time. So, this weekend we packed up and headed to Rochester to visit family. Jeff and Kerry are card carrying members of the Jordan & Brett fan club, and the times we spend with them and their girls are priceless. My kids can be as goofy and quirky as they want and not one of them flinches, rolls their eyes, or backs away. And to see the look on their faces when they talk about how they feel about the boys, and I see the sparkle in their eyes, well, I can't explain how that makes me feel. They are awesome. And that is quite an understatement.  I can't say enough how lucky we are to have them in our lives, and how much we all love them. I used to think that we didn't have anyone in our corner. Every day, I'm finding out how wrong I was. And if you're reading this and just got a warm, fuzzy feeling...then yes, I was talking about you. I hope you all know who you are. Because I am so grateful for you all, and don't know what I would do without you.